Dating funnies

Ok...so almost a year to the day that I closed my OKCupid dating profile; I opened it back up.

Here's what I got right off the bat:

Him: Hugs rock :) So you have a somewhat tomboy look from your pics. So are you a hardcore tomboy 80% of the time or do you have a feminine. girlie affectionate side ??

Me: Well...That depends how you define femininity. I am extremely affectionate. I dress up everyday for work. I'm fairly low maintenance when it comes to my hair/makeup but know how to do it up for special occasions. Does that answer your questions? J

Him: Well ok so does that mean you like cuddling massages feet rubs kissing holding hands touchy feely ? Wearing skirts dresses heels shorts flip flops ? Pantyhose thigh highs seamed stockings :)

Me: Yes to just about everything. Except the seams...hard to get straight!

Him: Well would you wear the seamed stockings.in.the bedroom ? And your ok with pantyhose and thigh highs for sure ?
Him: I happen to have a foot and hose fetish so I love.cute well taken care of feet on a woman and love the feel and look of hose on a womans legs and feet so you ok with all that ??

Me: I have ugly feet so I'm probably not the woman for you. Good luck with that though!

(NOTE: This is where I try to let him down nicely.)

Him: Lol well women are their own worst critic so maybe I would like them lol....so.you scared off by a.foot.fetish ???
Him: Are you very sexual when you like a guy ?? Did you like my pics and page ??

Me: I'm not scared off by anything but I do think this is inappropriate discussion for right off the bat.

Him: No its not lol . You're a grown woman so you should be able to handle adult coversation and be open and honest . After all you are on here to meet a guy that's relationship material and not just bs and games I would hope ..

(NOTE: This is where he pissed me off by brushing off my concerns and trying to guilt me)

Me: I am and I can but I choose to try to get to know someone a little first before I jump right into sex. Sets a bad first impression.

Him: No it doesn't only if you assume and jump the gun and assume a guy just wants to screw you because he can be open to talking about sex lol. I just like knowing what I have in common right off the bat instead of taking forever to find the core.stuff about someone ..

Me: Well, you let me know how that works with other women cuz it doesn't fly with me. Have a good one.

(NOTE: AGAIN where I try to be polite!)

Him: Well dear grow some balls and stop acting like virgin bye too shy and way way uptight for most men no wonder you're single lol..wow

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Ok...so should I be more feminine? Or should I grow some balls?!

I'm not sure what's more laughable about his last statement...the people who know me, know that I'm the last person who anyone would say was "way way uptight." Or the parting shot of "no wonder you're single?"

Good gravy.

The good news is that in the past this would have A) Bothered me. B) I would have talked to this loser for quite some time before dismissing him.

Now I see the giant red flag and what a wiener he really is! So hooray for that!

Krispy Kreme Craziness!

Did you barf?

That's what everyone wants to know when I tell them that this past Sat, I participated in the 10th Annual Krispy Kreme Challenge.

For those of you who don't know, here's what Wikipedia has to say about the Krispy Kreme Challenge:

The Krispy Kreme Challenge is an annual charity event in which participants run a several mile road course leading to Krispy Kreme Doughnuts shop, eat one dozen doughnuts (totaling 2,400 calories and 144 grams of fat), and run back to the finish line in under 1 hour.
 

Several miles means 5 miles. I ran 2.5 miles from the Bell Tower at NC State to the Krispy Kreme in downtown Raleigh. I ate a dozen donuts and then ran 2.5 miles back to the Bell Tower.

This is a huge event that is pretty well known here in Raleigh. People dress up and it's loads of fun. I decided to dress up as Where's Waldo. (no suprise there!)

Here I am before the madness!

 

I made it to the race with about an hour to wander around before it started. I got my picture taken, signed up for the costume contest (I didn't win) and just took in the sight of so many people dressed all crazy.

 

People kept smiling when they saw me. I heard so many people say "There's Waldo! I found her!" LOL. I even had one mom run up to me and ask me to take a picture with her and her kids! I love attention so this was awesome.

 

Finally we all lined up and got ready to get down to business. We were crammed into the street and the first couple of feet past the start line were packed. Then we spread out and it was on! I always forget how hilly Raleigh really is until I'm running it! After pausing to hitch up my tights (it was cold!) I kept running and finally made it to the donuts...

 

 

Donuts 1-2: I could barely get them down - I had trouble swallowing!

Donuts 3-5: All I could think was that this was a horrible idea and I would never finish them all

Donut 6: My gag reflex threatened to make an appearance and I really thought I wouldn't make it

Donuts 7-11: I just chewed and swallowed. I didn't even think anything. Chew. Swallow. Repeat.

Donut 12: Never been so happy to finish a donut!

 

 

So. Many. Donuts!

 

 

My method was to dunk the donut into the water cup and eat it as fast as possible. Then take a tiny sip to wash the last bite down. I didn't even drink a whole cup of water. I was so covered in sugar that I used the rest of the water to sort of clean my hand and face off.

 

I tossed my empty box onto the giant pile of empty boxes and started running back. That was a hard run. It wasn't my stomach that I had trouble with...it was my legs. They just didn't want to run anymore! I had to walk some short stretches but I tried to run as much as possible.

 

I'm sad to say that I didn't make it in an hour. My official time was 1:08:46.

 

I'm thinking that it just took me too long to eat the donuts. My split time after eating the donuts was 43:04 which means I was running right where I wanted to be. It was the dang donuts that slowed me down. Eating a dozen donuts is a huge mental game. Your body just isn't used to all that sugary dough. But I was proud to have finished and even more proud to not have barfed!

 

 

All smiles to be finished!

 

This race was so much fun. I will run again next year and I WILL make it in under an hour! 

 



Truthful Tuesday

Have you ever been surrounded by people and never felt so alone?

I have a great life. My life is full of fun activities, great friends and a family that loves me. I am luckier than most. I do fun things that fill me with happiness and I have people in my life to share those experiences with. I even have the best pup in the world to snuggle with.

That being said...

I'm lonely.

I miss being part of a couple.
I miss having a companion.
I miss inside jokes.
I miss being touched.
I miss the intimacy.
I miss kisses.
I miss the way I fit into the crook of his arm.
I miss skin on skin contact.
I miss innocent touches.
I miss knowing someone so well that you can tell what kind of mood they're in before they even open their mouth.

I miss it all.

I know what everyone will tell me. You have to love yourself Sprinkles. You don't want to be desperate for a man. You need to be fine on your own before you can be a good partner.

I get all of that.

But I feel a deep ache inside me when I hear John Legend sing that he wants to "Love your curves and all your edges. All your perfect imperfections."  I find myself unable to be happy for other couples. It seems like the world is taunting me with love all around for everyone but me.

What people don't tell me is how do I get over this deep ache? When does the hurt stop? When do I stop missing all of these things?

I'm not desperate to have a man. I can take care of myself. I am an independent woman who can handle her own problems and live her own life. I'm ok with myself. I know who I am. I'm more secure in my body and self than I've ever been in my whole life.

But I want to be loved. I want what I see my parents have. I want it so bad it hurts.

I settled in my marriage. I didn't think I was capable of being loved. I thought if someone told me they loved me...I should be grateful because no one else would ever tell me that.

I know better now. I don't ever want to settle again. I will be fine and I will hold out for the right one.

Until that person comes...

I'm lonely.