Dating funnies

Ok...so almost a year to the day that I closed my OKCupid dating profile; I opened it back up.

Here's what I got right off the bat:

Him: Hugs rock :) So you have a somewhat tomboy look from your pics. So are you a hardcore tomboy 80% of the time or do you have a feminine. girlie affectionate side ??

Me: Well...That depends how you define femininity. I am extremely affectionate. I dress up everyday for work. I'm fairly low maintenance when it comes to my hair/makeup but know how to do it up for special occasions. Does that answer your questions? J

Him: Well ok so does that mean you like cuddling massages feet rubs kissing holding hands touchy feely ? Wearing skirts dresses heels shorts flip flops ? Pantyhose thigh highs seamed stockings :)

Me: Yes to just about everything. Except the seams...hard to get straight!

Him: Well would you wear the seamed stockings.in.the bedroom ? And your ok with pantyhose and thigh highs for sure ?
Him: I happen to have a foot and hose fetish so I love.cute well taken care of feet on a woman and love the feel and look of hose on a womans legs and feet so you ok with all that ??

Me: I have ugly feet so I'm probably not the woman for you. Good luck with that though!

(NOTE: This is where I try to let him down nicely.)

Him: Lol well women are their own worst critic so maybe I would like them lol....so.you scared off by a.foot.fetish ???
Him: Are you very sexual when you like a guy ?? Did you like my pics and page ??

Me: I'm not scared off by anything but I do think this is inappropriate discussion for right off the bat.

Him: No its not lol . You're a grown woman so you should be able to handle adult coversation and be open and honest . After all you are on here to meet a guy that's relationship material and not just bs and games I would hope ..

(NOTE: This is where he pissed me off by brushing off my concerns and trying to guilt me)

Me: I am and I can but I choose to try to get to know someone a little first before I jump right into sex. Sets a bad first impression.

Him: No it doesn't only if you assume and jump the gun and assume a guy just wants to screw you because he can be open to talking about sex lol. I just like knowing what I have in common right off the bat instead of taking forever to find the core.stuff about someone ..

Me: Well, you let me know how that works with other women cuz it doesn't fly with me. Have a good one.

(NOTE: AGAIN where I try to be polite!)

Him: Well dear grow some balls and stop acting like virgin bye too shy and way way uptight for most men no wonder you're single lol..wow

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Ok...so should I be more feminine? Or should I grow some balls?!

I'm not sure what's more laughable about his last statement...the people who know me, know that I'm the last person who anyone would say was "way way uptight." Or the parting shot of "no wonder you're single?"

Good gravy.

The good news is that in the past this would have A) Bothered me. B) I would have talked to this loser for quite some time before dismissing him.

Now I see the giant red flag and what a wiener he really is! So hooray for that!